Thank God for Work!

Frankly Frank at work shouting at lowly pleb who is thinking "thank God for Work!"

Come on, it hits you every Monday – “Thank God for Work!” you cry over your fourth coffee and fifteenth fag before leaving the house.

The existence of work proves unequivocally the existence of a god – or at least a higher power. The majority of people would be lost in the wilderness without some structured activity to keep them from falling into a pre-Victorian savage-letting-mushy-fruit-fall-into-their-open-mouths kind of existence.

We must continue to cry ‘Thank God for Work!’

We must fight the noxious possibility of becoming contented, living-a-Great-Life-of-our-own-design savages at every turn and hope that our ally, the Government, never thinks of spending less than the country earns thereby being forced to reduce taxation as a result. The resulting horror of ordinary common folk being forced to consider the impossibility of actually not having to work to the grave and beyond is terrifying!

Just for the moment, however, I feel, we can all breath easy….

Frankly Frank at his overladen deskAppraisal time : Right you, in my office to explain yourself (in the comments below) – Do you regularly high-five at work and gratefully cry “Thank God for Work!” or are you too busy trying to set fire to your head in the  desperate hope they’ll send you home for being a potential health and safety risk?

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Demotivational Quote for the Common Man no.9 – Put your dukes up!

Frankly Frank in motivational martial arts pose“You have to fight through the bad days in order to earn the good days”

[Unknown]

Now see here’s the thing, this quote and countless others in the same vein seem very popular in that they’re everywhere that sorry cousin of small pox, self-improvement hangs out. But answer this: when you’re trying to chase down that fantastic dream and Great Life you want so much you could bleed, how motivated are you going to be by the idea that to succeed you’ve got to battle your hardest through all manner of pain, misery and misfortune to even be worthy of a few  days of fun and enjoyment? Not so motivated? Strange!

If you aren’t a sick puppy, desperate for a good, miserable time of it, try this alternative:

“You have to fight through the bad days in order to realize how shit they are and then go laugh through the good ones on offer round the corner that no on else seems to want.”

[Global Feel Good Company]

Are you a fighter, up for a good hemorrhaging all over your dream? Or do you think demotivational quote for the Common Man no.9 should be buried in concrete at the bottom of the Mariana trench to protect the fun and feel good people of this world? Vote ‘I love to hemorrhage’ or ‘Hands off the feel good brothers ‘ in the comments below.

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I am Important – Alternative Affirmation for the Common Man no.2

Frankly Frank in his 'I am important' pose in crowd

With all the pressures of life and the burgeoning world population, it might be that you are struggling to say ‘I am important’ with any conviction.

Thank fuck!

This alone could be the greatest bonus on your Road to Success and in chasing down your happy and Great Life. You see,  one of the major aspects of the great life swindle is the bullshit you’re fed about being unique and important, the bastards! Swindlers will butter you up with all manner of guff about how significant your little bunch of molecules are – more lies, vicious, evil lies!

 ‘I am important’ – pah!

This stinky crapfest has been keeping you unsuccessful and unhappy for too long. Rise up! Shout the truth loudly, madly with this Alternative Affirmation for the Common Man:

“I am important. Even though I am one of billions scuttling around this planet, I am definitely way more important than any of those other fuckers. I am not an ant, even though my ass does look like a bulbous ant’s and I do like discos… Okay, okay I am an ant! I am truly unimportant. I accept that I am just one of billions. I luxuriate in my unimportance and attract unimportance to me. Whatever I do will make no difference to the vast bulk of humanity, especially the dead ones. Therefore I can do what the fuck I like, including hunting down my version of a happy, Great Life – amen to that!”

Grab your megaphone and soapbox, jump up and loudly state your case in the comments below: are you proudly leading the ‘I am important, hop to making effigies in my likeness’ movement or are you contentedly scurrying along with the other ants, playing bulbous ass trumps?

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Demotivational Quote for the Common Man no.6 – true or tripe?

Racoon hiding from Frankly Frank's demotivational club

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”  [George Adair]

What a load of demotivating tripe!

No wonder your motivation is on permanent vacation with nonsense like this around! How keen and eager are you going to be to chase down your fantastic dream and Great Life if you believe you’re going to have to grovel to hell on bleeding stumps with a glowing poker up your ass? Not that keen?

Try this alternative:

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of a mega-motivating, uber-entertaining, positively-challenging, swindle-beating, great people-meeting, earnest-kicking, pant-changing, success-quenching, ace-tasting, misery-whipping, fun-buzzing, high-fiving, happy-talking, ever-evolving, cool-fizzing mother of a journey” 
[Global Feel Good Company]
What are you waiting for?

Have your say:  Demotivational quote for the Common Man no.6 – load of balls or spot on? Does Mr Adair’s wisdom make you race out of the house with your hair on fire for the excitement of being alive? Or, do you find yourself about as motivated as a shark at a salad bar? And what about the Global Feel Good Company alternative -  totally on the money or seriously off the dial? Lay your thing down in the comments below.

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Motivation Rule for the Common Man no.1- it’s a groovy setup

groovy masks hanging on wallDo  you dream of doing something awesome, big or small towards a Great Life, anything indeed, but when you try to motivate yourself into actually getting off your burgeoning ass and taking some kick-ass action, nothing happens, zilch? Somehow, for some damn reason you can’t identify, your motivation always fails to show up for the party? Goes AWOL?

Ever started on your creamy dream only to find that every day you had to try and motivate yourself more and more but the result was just less and less motivation and more and more prevarication? Ever found yourself long on tedious tasks but seriously short on enthusiasm, as in sod all?

There’s a strong chance it’s not your true dream you’re chasing, – in short, you’ve been swindled. These are classic symptoms that it never was ‘your’ dream in the first place, but some swindling parasitic desire foisted on you,  some cuckoo’s egg of ‘purpose’ or ‘meaning‘ you’re supposed to give a fuck about because it suits someone else. You’re a casualty of the great motivation swindle.

Too many great people like yourself are failing to achieve the success and Great Life they could be living and one of the main reasons is exactly because you have been swindled out of your natural motivation and without that crucial element you, your desire and sweet success are going nowhere. You’ve been swindled by many of the very people and resources that should have been the source of your motivation, scammed out of your natural drive before you even had a chance to storm your dream or version of success. Swindled by all around you, even though many of those very people and organizations truly believed that they had your interests at heart, and even more ironically were actually motivating you, but not to anything that would ever bring you happiness or a truly Great Life in your terms.

Motivation Rule for the Common Man no.1

Your motivation likes you the way you are, that’s why it’s your motivation
The more ‘you’ you are, the more your motivation will be ‘motivated’
It’s a groovy set up – don’t fuck with it
*

Is your motivation on board? Is it right there, driving you towards your fantastic dream or has it filed for citizenship somewhere the other side of the world to you?  Give your motivation a ‘shout out’ or list a ‘missing motivation ad’ in the comments below.

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My life is meaningful – Alternative Affirmation for the Common Man no.1

Frankly Frank thinking about life being meaningful

We’re taught from the earliest memory that to live a meaningless life is a squalid, uncontributing approach and that such behavior deserves the full might of society’s contempt…

Hmm.. I have another theory!

You see, parents and early education are just one of many stinky layers in this swindleous onion. At the core, is a never ending smorgasbord of deception screaming you need to forget going after some dumb little dream you’ve got stuck in your head and do some worthwhile endeavor, some ‘meaningful’ bollocks in your life instead. Like hell you do! Because what these flimflammers actually mean is for you to substitute their busted ass ideas and desires for your own.

‘My life is meaningful’ – my ass!

You need to realize in fact that the reason you’re so demotivated in the first place is exactly because of this motivation-murdering mountain of bilious bullshit you’ve been fed. Because before you even had the stirrings of something you could call a dream, certain elements in society were robbing you of your natural motivation and chance of personal happiness and success. But the key element they haven’t quite managed to eradicate yet (but they’re working on it – educators, psychologists, governments), the one essential that is really, truly you… is your true desire! Your core dream. Sure since you were a kid they’ve buried it under such oceans of garbage, continents of swindle, worlds of head-fuckage that it’s almost impossible to recognize. They’ve bamboozled your mind to the point that you think crap put there by swindlers and rogues, desperate to keep you trapped in Swindleville is actually what you really desire or what you should desire. But the reason this hasn’t completely worked as someone once famously didn’t say is because: swindlers, rogues and clowns can fool your desire and motivation some of the time, but only until you recognize it and then punch them in the face… hard!

An alternative affirmation for the Common Man:

“My life is meaningful. Okay, my life isn’t that meaningful. In fact, in the grand scheme of the world my life is meaningless. Therefore I embrace my meaninglessness. I love my meaninglessness and share it with others so their lives too can be meaningless. I choose to do things in my life instead because I fancy it, it could be fun, I could help someone, make some serious dookie, or indeed, just for the hell of it!”

Frankly Frank dressed as a carrot

Are you , to society’s mind a squalid, waste of ‘decent’ folks’ oxygen, worthy only of a uncivilized kicking? Or are you deep in the pursuit of a life of unparalleled meaning? Lay your thing down in the comments below and let the jury decide…

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Your pitiful present is your future – if you let it be!

your pitiful present is your future - Frankly Frank watching football on TVHow has it all come down to the fact that your pitiful present is your future unfolding while you watch? It may only be half time but state of play at the final whistle isn’t going to look that different unless you radically change your game plan.

Instead, hit the pause button and stop watching instant replays of other people’s successes when you could be playing out your own.

Think about it, how many people do you personally know that have broken through the swindle and are living a truly Great Life on their terms? Not many, if any perhaps? Ouch!

We’re not going to pussy about here, look around you! Honestly, how many people leap out of bed every morning so filled with excitement and adrenaline at the day ahead that they drop the ass out of their pants just trying to get dressed at warp speed in order to hot tail it out the door and be let loose on the world to create their great future? How often do you? At the end of the day, do you see rows and rows of relentlessly cheerful bastards panting with excitement to get home to… to… what? To blankly lollygag for mind-numbing hours in front of those bloody stadium-sized TVs everyone has? You too? If so, your pitiful present is your future, playing out in front of you, right there. The screens just keep getting bigger but are your plans for the future just getting smaller? Before long the entire population is going to end with giant TV screens the height of the fucking Burj Khalifa, still spewing out the same success-shrinking crap.

Success Rule For The Common Man no.3

The size of your TV has nothing to do with the size of your success.
And the number of channels of crap you can access is not in proportion to how far you’ve come in getting that Great Life you’ve been swindled out of.
*

If you seriously use these kinds of trappings to measure how well you’re doing towards the success you seek, then we need to talk, privately.

Your pitiful present is your future – don’t let it be!

You see, you’ve been swindled. You’re living a lie, a great, big greasy lie. Some scam merchant stole your success and your future and substituted a big old turd for both. As long as you continue to believe that  lie, it’s pretty safe odds that your pitiful present is your future. But you’re not going to, are you?  Because that pitiful life is a hideously pale excuse of a motherfucker for your true life, a piss poor imitation of the Great Life you could, and should, be living. In fact it’s pretty much the opposite of your true life.

So if you have any shred of wanting your version of a Great Life, you need to take a bloody big chainsaw to that TV right now, carve through one of the strongest swindling influences and hit your own Road to Success. And stop watching replays of other people’s successes – your lazy butt’s in this too!

Make a stand – come over to the other side. Come grab your Great Life now and ecstatically be part of your great future playing out in front of you!

What do you say? Is it fair to say your pitiful life is your future? Shout me down, state your case, scream for help! We’re all ears.

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Today’s Newspaper Headlines Fact or Fiction?

today's newspaper headlines

Today’s Newspaper Headlines:

‘Miracle immortality drug discovered that guarantees end to sickness and disease: 
3000 undertakers jobs under threat’

Today’s newspaper headlines may have been all but superseded in being the harbingers of news in this 24 hour digital age, but they still hold true to certain values so answer our world exclusive question and see how current your affair with the media is…

Q: On the whole are today’s newspaper headlines (and most associated media’s for that matter):

a) Complete fiction

b) Hysterical, scaremongering nonsense designed to depress, deflate and generally destroy the general population’s positivity before it ever has a chance of taking hold each morning

c) Unrelentingly misery, sensationalism and general bias

d) Complete bollocks

e) A carefully considered result of an intensive editorial process that ensures the final headline is so much more than the news behind it

Frankly Frank reading newspaper headlines

What do you think of today’s newspaper headlines? Fact or fiction? Understated or over-the-top?  Incisive or inciting? Total tripe or complete bollocks? (There’s no editorial bias here).   Letters to the Editor invited in the comments below:

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Balls of Steel-What’s your Audacity Capacity?

motorcycle stuntman and Frankly Frank paraglidingRe-published due to  banana fingers  hitting ‘publish’ instead of ‘draft’ – way to go!

Your audacity capacity is key to being successful in chasing down the Great Life that’s out there for everyone who has the motivation to hunt it down. Because anyone successful has balls of steel, whether they’ve achieved public or personal success, building companies or charities, scaling peaks or personal bests. And the exciting thing is, so have you!

It’s just as likely when you stride out there, settle into your oh so groovy groove and really get motoring, that you’ll find you’re capable of so much more than you thought, realize you dreamed far too small, realize that you’ve got balls of steel. Because guess what? Your audacity capacity is way higher than you ever imagined! You’re damn well capable of way more than either you or the swindlers have ever given you credit for. Imagine that?

Balls of Steel or Balls of Blancmange?

And you know in your heart, in your sane moments when you get away from the swindle merchants, you haven’t got balls of blancmange, that’s just what your corroded confidence is telling you. You can have exactly the same results as anyone else if you do exactly what they’ve done as audaciously as they have. And you could be as audacious as them, have their level of audacity capacity (and more!) if, and it’s a mofo cliff face of an if, if you can ditch all that success-swindling head-fuckage and feel good enough about yourself!
Because the end result of all this conflict is a lack of self-confidence, a lack of trust in your opinions, your ideas and your dreams, mainly because you haven’t got a monkey’s idea what is yours and what is some trickster’s swirling round in your head. So everything goes to hell along with your confidence and audacity capacity and then you really are up swindle creek without a prayer. So is it time to feel good about yourself? No it isn’t!

It’s time to feel great about yourself – monumentally, audaciously, unashamedly, GREAT about yourself! It’s time to ramp up that audacity capacity!

So what have you done in your world, in your way, that took balls of steel? Because we have all done things already that show we all have the capacity for audacity, big or small. Share them  in the comments below and inspire some poor soul lost in Swindleville to kick some ass and break out!

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Money is hard to come by… and other bollocks people tell you!

Frankly Frank with bill‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ we’ve been told ad nauseam, ‘money is hard to come by’! This universally swindleous maxim is directly responsible for the financial illiteracy you suffer from every day and is a monumental hurdle in you chasing down your Great Life.

Understand just how monkeyed you are and where it’s got you.

To be fair, you’re in strong company, being a member of one of the world’s most over-subscribed clubs. Like the majority , there’s every chance that you’re trapped in firmly, fervently believing that money is hard to come by, that you have to go to work for a certain number of hours and days dictated by the company, for a certain number of years dictated by the Government. And while you’re there, you’ll do whatever the hell needs doing, not what you fancy because that’s how work works. After all, money is hard to come by and jobs are the meal ticket – right? Hmm.. problem is that in exchange you’re inadvertently giving up any chance of a Great Life and, very rudely,  probably won’t really have enough to do sod all with when you’ve finally chased down that ever receding retirement age except eat value food products and watch the TV by the dim glow of a one bar electric fire! And if you’re self-employed, you probably think much the same, except you’re the ‘company’.

Why am I so sure you’ve been brainwashed into thinking money is hard to come by?

Because that’s how you act. And if that’s how you act, then your thinking is in a rut deeper than the Marianas. Shit! Yeah shit! So try this on for size:

‘Money is easy to come by’

No it isn’t! Yes, it is!! There is another whole parallel universe with ‘some people’ making more money in an day than the vast majority of humanity make in a whole year. You know this, everyone knows this, and yet most people still keep acting as if it wasn’t the case. Now I am not suggesting that you can do that overnight, but how the hell can money be harder to grasp than a spitting python if some people can do that? How can it be that the only way to have two baked beans to rub together is to grimly hang on to a succession of jobs you hate for nine tenths of your life and end up with piss all, when they are living proof that the world also works the other way? So it must work both ways, it has to! Money and making money work the way you’re fucked-in-the-head brain has always been told they do, but it also works the other way too… for those who aren’t brain damaged.

So if they’re talking out of their swindleous asses saying that money is hard to come by…

maybe they’ve been lying about other things too? Maybe success isn’t hard to come by either… Maybe your ideas about how it works need clearing out because if you haven’t even started on your own Road to Success yet there’s likely to be other stinky, swindling misinformation holding you back, and if you are already ‘in the saddle’ then it’s very likely to still be affecting how far you think you can go… boy is your Great Life in trouble unless you can truly grasp the fact that you really can choose which statement to base your Great Life decisions on :

money is hard to come by  v. money is easy to come by

Let me know which way your financial  and success compasses are going to swing in the comments below.

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